"Yes hello, I’d like to make a de-paws-it."
"My finances are not a fucking game, Jessica."
- call you names
- tell you weird and personal details about myself
- say “I NEED TO PEE” instead of just brb
- type in caps a lot.
If i’m extra comfortable with you I’ll do all that and:
- talk casually about porn and really perverted thoughts
- share funny photos from my tumblr dash
- actually tell you when i’m upset
- try to make conversation with you
- just generally act really silly when I’m in a good mood
- tell you jokes even if they’re bad
They have spoken.
Heed the Master
"Help, I’ve fallen glamorously and I can’t get up ;]"
All of the other mannequins look like they’re so sick of his shit.
"God damn it, Jerry’s at it again.
I love seeing medical articles with photographs depicting period cramps like this
when it actually feels more like
also i wouldnt be wearing those light colored pajama pants if i were her
This HR dept doesn’t negotiate with Terrorists.
relationship tip #78: ‘babe’ and ‘baby’ are cliche and outdated. try a fun new nickname such as ‘lieutenant’ instead
that’s exactly what someone who’s dating their dad would say